Spam- The Humor and the Horror

Spam (c/o Wikipedia.com)

Spam (c/o Wikipedia.com)

Today is a departure from my normal style of blog post. I will not be sharing a story from my classroom. I will not tell tales of travels far and wide. I will be discussing the humor and horrors found in my spam queue.

In the past I would quickly delete the comments in my spam queue. These comments were always filled with a ridiculous amount of links, foreign languages, or gobbledygook like nm,. lfk or l;alksdfj.

But recently things have been changing. The Spammers are getting more creative. In an effort to look like real people they seem to be using quotes from other texts to get you to click on their links or to boost their search engine scores.

This one seems to be Biblical:

Theshepherd hearing that, came up to him, (link) xlijjxgfp (link) facts (link) everything was there that he had wished for.

This one seems to be taken from court-transcripts:

Counsel for the prosecution now said:By the oaths of citizens whose simple word is above suspicion, (link) snmzvgrrz (link) instant payday loans  (link) anxiously.

Here someone is trying to me sell real estate using the literary spam method. But maybe they should try quoting a text that would actually make someone want to move to Huntsville.

It had rained for two days, (link) lddgfrktjf (link) houses for sale Huntsville, AL (link) how to dispose of them.

Then there are the spam comments that prey on my ego.

Omgcutepuppies wrote:

I am really impressed with your writing skills and also with the
layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself?
Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it’s rare to see
a great blog like this one these days.

And neurosis said:

Aw, this was a very nice post. Takling a few minutes and actual
effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I
put things off a lot and never manage to get anyything done.

The one that completely blew my mind, a spammer advertising Cialis, said something like:

I like your blog. Do you have problems with weird spam comments? I do too. Do you know of an application or how to get rid of them?

I’m sure that when selling products to help with erectile dysfunction, you must get a lot of crazy comments.

Spamming is big business. Spammers write comments on blogs in order to improve their search ranking on Google, or other search engines. In the past, with every comment on a blog, the spammer’s website search score grew. However, in the last year, Google has changed their algorithms. If the comments coming from a blog are too spammy, the blog’s search ranking can actually decrease. Spammers must now write coherent comments if they want their rankings to grow and not be considered spam.

Bloggers, for the most part, share their ideas in order to promote conversation on a topic. Bloggers like me are thrilled when another person cares enough to contribute to the discussion by commenting on a post. And I am over the moon when someone decides to follow me because they liked what I had to say.  Yet it is depressing to realize that some of my followers are simply just trying to boost their search score.

Has your spam queue been filled with spam lately? Share a favorite spam comment that you have received.

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15 replies

  1. I was kind of relieved this post was about internet spam and not the canned meat. Haha!

    WordPress blocks most of my spam, but I do get a few interesting ones now and then. Like these two I got three years ago that just said “Hello! eeddgdd interesting eeddgdd site! I’m really like it! Very, very eeddgdd good!” and a similar one that exchanged the “eeddgdd” part for “aaagddf”.

    They were strange enough I emailed a screenshot to my best friend.

    Now watch this comment go directly to your spam folder… 😉

  2. Ooh. This one came in today…”You see, said Tom, people dont go much on hermits, nowadays, loans pidtwidcn short term loans short term loans (link) hiscircumstances will permit and he often stretches it a point”

    And to explain, none of these comments made it into my comment queue. They are all caught by Askimet. But I like to read them anyway. Fun times!

  3. I get 80-100 spam a day in my blog. I see lots of the same types of stuff you do, plus a lot of stuff written in a language I can’t read (I assume Chinese, but I could be wrong.)

    Luckily, Akismet snags most of the spam. It’s very rare for one of them to really look legit to me, though.

    On an unrelated note, I actually like Spam the canned meat. It’s a comfort food. I was sad when I used up the last of my supply here.

    • I just moderate all comments. When I write about the Holocaust or Oprah, I get some offensive stuff. They will write one nice comment, get through the approval, then the next comment, the talons (or crazy) come out.

  4. Oh, yeah, they’re getting better and better! My favourites are the ones who tell me how useful and insightful they found my post or how much it solved their problem. Of course most of the time it’s just a post about, I don’t know, how I would happily set my workplace on fire or what’s my favourite chewing gum brand 😀

  5. Forget sharing interesting SPAM comments, I want your secrets on how to find time enough to write witty posts and read the inane comments left on them by Spambots! Admiring your work from up north.

    • I get up early and write before the rest of the house is awake. When the spam filter gets a bit full I breeze through them for fun. I actually had a personal friend whose comment ended up in the filter once.

  6. My ‘favorite spam comment’? Now this is some idea! 🙂 It never crosses my mind, really. Anyway, to keep it at minimum, I turn off ‘like’ button (no offense to sincere likers), set the approve comment to ‘manual’ (like you), and only show a few of the followers.

    Watch out, my blog is not in English. :mrgreen:

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